Two weeks ago I poured out my emotions and rather miserably blogged about the endings of my summer of freedom. Well, here I am now to tell you the rest of the story. Two weeks ago, I was terrified, terrified of the unknown and reality but since then I know what life is going to look like for the near future and being parted with summer doesn’t seem like such a huge thing anymore. Life moves on- we’d never be the interesting, wise human beings we are without transition and change, and inside I knew that before but my terror made me long for everything to stay the same.
Although sixth form isn’t at its 100% intensity and busyness yet, I feel as though I have a routine and things to work towards. I’ve had all of my lessons and next week, I start an enrichment programme where I do volunteering work in school and an EPQ, which isn’t just important for CVs and university applications that school like to broadcast whenever they have the chance. Yes, the future is important but it shouldn’t only be set out as school, university, job etc. What about all the moments in between? So I’m doing the programme for the exciting experiences and to enjoy learning and helping others with something I succeed in and know others find tricky and secretly, want a little help in.
With a week and three days gone, I know my subject options were right for me. I’m not saying it’s easy but I enjoy learning in my lessons and I can see that they are what I would be happy doing whenever the skills should be needed in life. The most problematic subject is German as we have to go down to a local grammar school and do the lessons with a class of boys. I’m not going to be deceptive, everyone was extremely apprehensive at first and I still get nervous every time I walk through the school’s gates but I know I’m fine when I’m there. Sometimes, it is unbelievably difficult: I feel like I have really lost out when I hear the boys speak fluently and understand everything the teacher perfectly pronounces. It’s hard realising we’re so far behind yet I already know it will be a challenging journey so with lots of effort I can get there. In the end.
I will let you all know how it all progresses but things normally turn out how you want if you strive to make sure they do…