Independence

The miles and miles of field were ebbing away from me, pushing me away from my home while my head was buzzing with excited and nervous thoughts. My train came to a halt; messages were spoken to get off and passengers pushed past each other to reach the doors. I got on the platform, armed with my luggage, following the wall of people marching in front of me. I felt grown-up and important singularly walking down the platform to my purpose, just like all those other people: employees, mothers, boyfriends, daughters, friends. Once I had reached that purpose, happiness and love was pulsing through my body.

Let me just clarify if you haven’t already guessed: this is not a post on leaving the EU, although I do think the matter is of great importance, but it is instead about a personal experience I have recently gone though where I gained a little bit of freedom in my life.

Although this would be a pretty normal occurrence that wouldn’t even make some people my age bat an eyelid, I travelled on my own by train to London (and back) in order to visit my sister and her boyfriend. To me this was an achievement: leaving behind my home and the comfort blanket of someone else to help me and finding my way on my own.

I didn’t have to do a lot on the journey there; all I had to do was pass 3 hours, get my huge weight of a suitcase off the train and find my way to some of my family. It doesn’t sound like much of a task to be proud of but it fills me with a new-found confidence to not be shackled to doing things I want to do but only with other people. Now that I’m sixteen, more opportunities are going to come my way that rely on me to be courageous and complete things alone, however daunting. Although it’s scary, it’s also extremely exciting to do things like this.

Of course, the same can’t be said for my journey home: depressing and gut-wrenching, trying to hold back the tears and wondering why I had to go back to real life so soon.

Yet that feeling of independence still lingers and for me now, the next step is to go bigger and better: maybe change stations if I go on the train on my own or on a completely different subject, just start doing projects like cooking on my own more often. Lately, this has bothered me as life is getting more serious and I just want to be prepared for my future, not to be swallowed up by the huge reality that it is.

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