An Anticlimax

It’s the first week of probably the longest holiday of my life. I should be happy, right? Well, I am. Yet I have an overwhelming feeling that I should be happier: ecstatic even, but this draining tiredness and my maybe unrealistic summer expectations haven’t quite made me feel like that.

My mum tells me I need to recover from spending the last month or so cramming information into my head, I understand that, however I also want to start making the most of this summer. I must admit, I like watching TV shows all day but I want to start undertaking my plans for the summer. Many of these plans are family-related: staying with my sister then brother, going on the family holiday and going on days out. Really, I just want to start these because family is one of the most important things to me and I cannot even begin to describe how much I miss my brother and sister (who live away from home.) Another one of these important things is my friends and I really need to plan days with them, like for my birthday, but it’s so tricky to find a day for everyone to come! That also makes me feel drained as it seems really laborious to organise, even though I know it will be worth it.

I think I expected to be having fun every day this holiday but sometimes, I guess you just have to accept that you might have good days and you might have bad days so in the end, you might not meet all your expectations. Here are some other projects I want to try to take on (other than blogging) this summer:

  • Clearing out my clothes and shopping for new ones- I’ve already started this and am throwing away clothes like there’s no tomorrow. Some don’t fit yet a lot I look at and I don’t see me in them anymore. To me, it’s important this holiday to find clothes that express my personality and style so that I feel more comfortable and carefree wearing them, as well as looking good!
  • Learning new songs to play on the keyboard and playing the flute again- I used to play the flute for years and years, reaching my grade 5 and then realising that I didn’t really want it that badly, especially when I had to do an almost impossible theory exam! That’s when I really began to play the keyboard but I never had time with exams therefore now I can spend quality time playing.
  • Trying to keep going over my German- next year, I will be studying German (if my GCSE result is what I hope it will be) so I want to keep progressing with the language, to prepare for next year but also as it makes me feel content when I do this.
  • Cooking- this is just one of the many skills I want (and probably need) to learn before I possibly go to university in 2 years or just before I enter the real world.
  • Keeping fit- it was only a week ago that I was stress-eating for England in exams but I’m trying to eat healthy and do exercise every day since we all want that summer body, right?

I think to make this summer the best one ever, which I’m really yearning for it to be, I need to let go of my assumption that I will do everything I want to and I will feel elated every day because I am still a teenager (life isn’t always going to feel the easiest) and surely, I should focus my attention on the fact that there’s no need to revise and I can do what I want: from relaxing and just watching TV shows to filling my time surrounded by the people I care about the most in the world.

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7 comments

  1. Aww so far this is such a good blog!

    Keep it personal to you would be my only suggestion, but you’re already doing that so congrats to you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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